Debriefing > Off-Topic Lounge

Give me your one-liners

<< < (3/8) > >>

mbsurfer:
Just keep pretending you're gonna shoot by saying "BANG" randomly, making the guy flinch.
Then say, "Okay I'll stop now."
*.....Awkward silence..............*
"BANG!"
The guy jumps.
"That was the last time I swear. ;D"
The shooter begins to chuckle, and the man hesitantly chuckles along, then quickly shoot the gun.. but it's out of bullets. The man tries to make a run for it, but trips on a banana peel or something then hits his head on a conveniently placed rock.  His head rolls over face first into a puddle, and he drowns.

I also found this poem on the internet. Thought you may find some things..

--- Quote ---A for attacked in a dank little mire
B is for burned in a terrible fire
C is for crisped in an Easy Bake oven
D is for doomed in a big witch's coven
E is for eaten by a monster of dread
F is for filled up with one ton of lead
G is for gnawed on by a vicious brown dog
H is for hurt choking on a frog
I is for injured in the dawn's early light
J is for jumped in the middle of the night
K is for kicked in the shins by some guy
L is for leaping over a man-eating fly
M is for mauled by a huge grizzly bear
N is for nailed to an electric chair
O is for offed by twelve football teams
P is for pulled apart at the seams
Q is for quacked to death by a duck
R is for rammed in the head by a puck
S is for stuffed in a teddy-bear shop
T is for thunk-ed in the head with a mop
U for uplifted and dropped to their death
V is for vacuuming while getting high on meth
W is for whacked tween the eyes with a mace
X is for x-rayed to death while in space
Y is for yodeling and choking on mice
Z is for zipping through a hole in the ice
--- End quote ---

Mike [fourtecks]:
Ha, didn't see this thread until now. I'm trying to think of stuff, and I am definitely coming up with some of the corny stuff you can find in bond films...

Smack a person over the head with a lifebouy/lifering, ram it downward so it restricts their arm movement, pull out a gun, shoot them in the chest, then have the guy fall into a pool, then say "Take a dip."

Person 1 kills person 2 with a baseball bat.
Person 1 meets up with person 3.
Person 3 : "Where's person 2?"
Person 1 : "He struck out."

Oh god, I don't want to even try anymore :p ...

Loafie, Hero of Dreams:
As an option to tecks second one

Person 1 attacks person 2 with a baseball bat, hitting them 3 times, the third hit kills/incapacitates Person 2
Person 1: "3 strikes and you're out!"

Jeron [SharpSh00tah]:
*tecks edit* NO. NO. I refuse to see this pic

*loaf edit*

*tecks edit* GOD DAMNIT. I will BAN YOU LOAF

"Hit it!"

killermonkey:
"Which wallet is yours?"

"The one that says Bad Ass Mother Fucker on it"

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page