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Author Topic: Goodbye Nickster  (Read 141660 times)

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JessEH

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Re: Goodbye Nickster
« Reply #75 on: December 23, 2009, 12:33:40 pm »

I'll resist giving my opinion on the why.

However, I have been wanting to ask this for awhile:

Does anyone else find it wildly inappropriate to have his suicide note on a plaque in the maps? That's what it is right? His suicide note?

I think a simple "In memory of" or "dedicated to" type of thing would be much better. But that's just me.

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Mangley

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Re: Goodbye Nickster
« Reply #76 on: December 23, 2009, 01:02:37 pm »

That's just impersonal though isn't it? If it just said "in memory of" then it wouldn't tell us anything or give us any insight into what kind of person he was.

I like what the plaque says, it's very philosophical and moving. I don't see anything wrong with it.
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Re: Goodbye Nickster
« Reply #77 on: December 23, 2009, 01:28:46 pm »

I don't believe it's his susicide note, least I dont think it is.
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Re: Goodbye Nickster
« Reply #78 on: December 23, 2009, 01:38:11 pm »

It's an excerpt from it, and I agree with Mangley's post on its use.
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Re: Goodbye Nickster
« Reply #79 on: December 23, 2009, 02:09:01 pm »

same here. I don't see anything wrong with it. I look at it as just a philosophical passage about the end of life and the insight/curiosity he had about it. I think it is something that has crossed everyones mind at least once. I don't find it inappropriate.
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Re: Goodbye Nickster
« Reply #80 on: December 23, 2009, 10:41:36 pm »

There also was a startup video with the line "In loving memory of Nicolas "Nickster" Bishop." in beta 1.
This was moved into the credits for Beta 3.

As for the plaque, it really looks like his suicide notes.
If you ask me, the matter of such notes are to let the ppl know how you feelt and maybe, just maybe understand why you did it.
He wouldn't have written such a note if it wasn't his intention to have ppl read it.

Allthough i didn't know Nickster, these words moved my heart and made me think about a lot of things, not only death and beyond.

The question of having this plaque in some maps is a matter of personal taste.
Some may find it wildly inappropriate while others feel it's just right.

Since the ppl who knew Nick and worked with him on this mod, thought it was the right decission to honor him that way, i have no doubt it is.
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Jonathan [Spider]

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Re: Goodbye Nickster
« Reply #81 on: December 28, 2009, 01:15:58 pm »

I'll resist giving my opinion on the why.

However, I have been wanting to ask this for awhile:

Does anyone else find it wildly inappropriate to have his suicide note on a plaque in the maps? That's what it is right? His suicide note?

I think a simple "In memory of" or "dedicated to" type of thing would be much better. But that's just me.

I think the level designers who decided to put that in their maps sort of saw that as kind of a sum up of nicks personality.  the way he wrote that and what he said was kind of an ultimate goodbye, that many of us never have the opportunity to say. speaking for myself, i think the message is a good reminder of a great teammate and friend.
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V!NCENT

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Re: Goodbye Nickster
« Reply #82 on: January 16, 2010, 08:03:21 am »

Quote
So many people go about their daily lives unconcerned with the fact that they are nothing more than an ant upon a huge rock flying through a universe so large it can't even be imagined.
That was the very thinking that started a very long depression of mine that luckily ended :(

Goodbye Nicholas, even though I never knew you, but I wish I would have.
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Re: Goodbye Nickster
« Reply #83 on: January 25, 2010, 09:43:18 am »

I give Nickster some credit, he really had good brains to make this project! Even knowing it kinda looked funky at the beginning, it was still pretty neat! Cheers to Nickster.
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CameronB

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Re: Goodbye Nickster
« Reply #84 on: March 03, 2010, 10:06:29 am »

Wow.

I'm nobody here... I've no programming skills to offer, I've nothing brilliant to add to the game code, I don't understand how to make meshes, work with nodes, or paint textures.  I'm just some guy who registered to inquire about the single player possibility of this mod, and that answered, offer thanks and encouragement for the work put into bringing my all time favorite FPS into a new age.

Thus I never knew Nickster, but those words are so hauntingly familiar...  I've stood on a precipice of personally inflicted hell, questioning reality, my place in it, my value in it, wishing for death, wishing for a way out, but hoping that somehow, things would get better.

Tormented by our own demons, it becomes difficult to find our way through life, and when the pain of life's little tragedies shatter our spirits, clawing a path out of a dark personal abyss seems overwhelming, perhaps even futile.  Some people are lost in our world, and finding a way to shine a glimmer of hope into their dark eyes is a defiant struggle ready to sap us of all strength. 

Some are unable to arrive to any conclusion on this question of life or death, and choose to wait for more answers.  Others can confidently walk to the future, having gained the belief that destiny must hold more for them.  But tragically, we are not all superhuman in our spirit, and some falter, struggling with this conflict, ultimately deciding that the fight is too great a burden, the strain of pushing our questions off overwhelms us, and the only way out...  is to say farewell.

Some of us are Actors of the highest degree, masking our pain behind genuine warmth, a facade of happiness, but ultimately, this mask covers up a cold place within, a space which goes unfulfilled.  This burden within us returns to haunt our lonely nights, our lonely mornings, and our lonely days.  The mask must come off at some time, and when it falls free, we are confronted with ourselves, and the pain we hold.

The mirror reflects a face, our own face, and we see behind it to find that missing piece, whatever its cause, looking upon us - asking to please help.

And then what?  How?  The spitefull music of Korn, the electric rage of NiN, the sad depression of a thousand other artists, through it we might cry, scream, wail, and try to purge this feeling of betrayal from us... but you cannot purge emptiness.  It must be filled.

What is that answer?  I don't know.  I think it's different for everyone.  I was missing a piece of my soul, and I needed to find "her" to complete myself.  Without that stroke of luck, there still would be nothing within me.  Maybe I too, would have walked the same path, my footsteps preceding or following Nick's.  I know the nights were dark enough to make the path inviting.

Thanks for making this mod.  Thank you for posting his words.  Thank you for putting them in one of the levels.  I'd like to think that there was another like me out there, who, though he may not have been able to hold on as long, is honored for his time in our realm.

The memory of emptiness haunts me still...  Maybe it haunts us all.
-Peace.

PS
Don't fret.  I'm not going to walk that path.  I merely remember how it felt to be alone.  Thankfully those days are past.
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Re: Goodbye Nickster
« Reply #85 on: March 03, 2010, 04:46:12 pm »

@CameronB:
I believe that in order to stop it, one must first find something that makes them happy and then secondly, in order for it to take effect, one must think about what they think is important/signiffant and them work on it to value themselves and by extent allows one to feel happy about something.
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ericmcaine

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Re: Goodbye Nickster
« Reply #86 on: March 30, 2010, 04:59:04 pm »

I registered here just to say Rest in Peace.
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Re: Goodbye Nickster
« Reply #87 on: March 31, 2010, 04:39:20 pm »

Cheers to Nick for make fun memories re-live again for all.
I never knew Nick but i must say after playing the n64 game for a while i thought hope there is a way to remember GE N64 but i never thought it would be done to this extent.
A remake we don't forget.
Nick Rest in Peace
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Emilia

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Re: Goodbye Nickster
« Reply #88 on: April 17, 2010, 03:38:19 am »

Rest in peace hun.
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theCan

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Re: Goodbye Nickster
« Reply #89 on: December 15, 2010, 06:58:45 am »

I, like some others in this thread, did not know Nick in any way. But I do know and can empathize with such a dark internal pain. It is something that very few people deserve to feel. Unfortunately this is not the case. So I leave this note here to try to offer some sort of comfort, if only fleeting at that, to those who are, those who will, and those who have have struggled with such turmoil.

We are here, and we will listen, always.
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