GoldenEye: Source Forums

Global Communications => Latest News & Announcements => Topic started by: InvertedShadow on November 17, 2006, 11:09:17 am

Title: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: InvertedShadow on November 17, 2006, 11:09:17 am
Recovered from Archive: Link (http://web.archive.org/web/20060813180556/forums.goldeneyesource.com/index.php?showtopic=4933)

Quote
"And finally there is a part of me that is really looking forward to finding out the answer to one of life's great mysteries. Is there life after death? What is out there? So many people go about their daily lives unconcerned with the fact that they are nothing more than an ant upon a huge rock flying through a universe so large it can't even be imagined. The universe is so vast, what is my part to play in this thing called life? Nobody knows for sure what happens to our souls when we depart this plain of existence. I am going to find out. I think it's going to be something both unimaginable and great. I will see you on the other side."
Love,Nick

Nick was very proud of his involvement with this mod. I don't know how much he had been involved lately, but although very sad, I thought I would share the last paragraph of his good bye to us. In our thought and prayers. God Bless.
007_sr

*fourtecks edit* additional info


Quote
Hi,
 
I can't tell you how impressed I have been reading the posts.The majority of them are moving and touching. This message is to you but you can post whatever information I give you. The prayer posted by lo-fi and the entire post by jeo (May 26,302am) were used at Nick's service. The service was beautiful. It made us all realize the gift we had lost. The comments by the people who knew him were humorous,uplifting and enlightening. You could tell how many people he had touched in a posistive way.

As most of you know from communicating with him over time Nick was an intelligent,funny and caring person. Nick has been fighting the dark side of depression since his early teens. This event has been replayed in his mind for as long as I can remember. Nick had been in and out of treatment many times over the years. I credit his mom,brother and sister for never giving up on him. His family has always been there for him through this all. Anyone getting to know him would never know. He hid this dreppression from the world very well, even us. We really believed he was over the hurdle for a long time now. We will really never know the pain and sadness or loneliness he was feeling.

There's been a little confusion on exactly what happened. I was a little upset with some of the posts I read on Digg. but I realize this is the internet. Nick lived in a side by side townhouse. The house on the other side was vacant. He started the grill in the empty apartment next door in the bathroom. I dont believe there was ever any intention for there to be a fire. According to the fire inspector Nick was long dead before the fire started. He just went to sleep from carbon monoxide poisoning.

I hope this clears some things up. I'm findind writing this message to be very helpful in helping me cope. Nick twisted my arm for years to get me to play half life. I've gotten to know and play with some great people. I can't tell you what it means to me to read all the wonderful things people have been writing about Nick. From the bottom of my heart i know Nick didn't want any of us to be sad.

In our thoughts and prayers. God Bless
Don Bishop  (007_sr "Nick's Dad")


Article (http://www.greenbaypressgazette.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060526/GPG010301/605260511&SearchID=73245730984034)




Added November 17, 2006

Despite the success of the mod it is with a heavy heart that we say good bye to Nickster our Goldeneye Source mod leader. He passed away on May 24, 2006, at his home at the age of 27. We as a mod team hereby dedicate this mod fully to Nickster. Tragically his life ended too soon and we as a team wish his family and relatives the best of luck through this difficult time. He would want us to continue on no matter what the costs and we sincerely hope he is in a better place. This mod is for you Nickster from the Goldeneye source team.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Sean [Baron] on November 17, 2006, 11:32:18 am
I Salute to you nickster!
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Wake[of]theBunT on November 17, 2006, 11:37:52 am
As a nick, i feel honored to share the beautiful name with someone who achieved a vision so amazing and which is giving joy to thousands, where others failed.

Here's to successful minds and this mod in his memory!  ;D
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: olileauk on November 17, 2006, 11:47:39 am
Goodbye, nickster. you shall be forever remembered in our hearts and minds.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: pimpinjuice on November 17, 2006, 11:55:17 am
Goodbye Nickster. You will be remembered.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: The_JFK on November 17, 2006, 12:01:28 pm
I'm glad to see this reposted. Goodbye again, and thank you for the work you've inspired.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Loafie, Hero of Dreams on November 17, 2006, 12:24:09 pm
Ciao buddy. This one's for you.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: MetalLizard on November 17, 2006, 03:00:38 pm
Six months later this is still hard to grasp. See you around man. =)
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Snaker8 on November 17, 2006, 03:18:28 pm
I'm glad to see this reposted. Goodbye again, and thank you for the work you've inspired.
Same here.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Jonathan [Spider] on November 17, 2006, 04:44:24 pm
later mate

were still going, and will keep going just like we promised.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Polizei on November 17, 2006, 04:52:29 pm
Where ever you are (or where ever you are not), once again: We all share great respect for a true example of a multifaceted human being. Your accomplishments in the human experience were many, and you stand forever more as a testament to what it means to be a true gamer and leader of this generation.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: WNxLithiumLT on November 17, 2006, 06:29:14 pm
My glass will always remain raised to you.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: DaDude on November 17, 2006, 06:48:21 pm
We'll keep going. Just watch us! :)
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: rodolfostanic on November 18, 2006, 06:44:26 am
In memory of a true leader, for starting one of the coolest mods for HL2.
Goodbye, Nickster. You'll always be remembered!
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Janus on November 19, 2006, 10:25:46 am
Your legacy and vision will remain with us.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: WNxPrendatram on November 19, 2006, 07:23:50 pm
It's great to see this thread back on the forum

R.I.P Nickster
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: .sh4k3n on November 20, 2006, 10:51:18 am
I'm glad we were able to get this thread back for him. Best wishes go to his family and friends, and I hope this mod can become everything he dreamed of it becoming.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Matt oo7 on November 24, 2006, 02:07:20 pm
I didn't know him but

"For England, Nick?"
"No. For everyone."
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: irfman on December 01, 2006, 12:01:14 am
Everytime I play Goldeneye Source I will always think of you.



Goodbye Nickster.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: framed on December 01, 2006, 11:03:47 am
Everytime I play Goldeneye Source I will always think of you.



Goodbye Nickster.

qft :(
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Wake[of]theBunT on December 01, 2006, 10:39:55 pm
I wish i had gotten to play the game along side him even just once, those JS and early DEV's are sure lucky :)
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: hunter on December 03, 2006, 12:27:13 pm
Goodbye Nickster you were the leader of a great half life 2 mod and will be remembered.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: crunk-juice on December 08, 2006, 04:15:20 pm
yeah he was fun to play with way back when.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: CrObInStInE on June 23, 2007, 11:59:26 pm
I just joined and read this. Very sad indeed.
You guys must finish this as he will no longer be able to. Make sure you do everything the way he would have wanted it done.
Sad to see a game enthusiast to pass away.
RIP
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Aalesund on August 10, 2007, 10:06:20 pm
Good to see that you guys can honor a deceased friend. He sounded like a great person. May you rest in peace.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: FroggerH8zU on August 11, 2007, 06:12:33 am
Goodbye, Nickster.
So sad, you passed so young, but the GoldenEye Source Mod is in memory of you.
Best wishes to your relatives and friends who are having a hard time grasping your passing.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Bebbe on September 01, 2007, 11:54:42 pm
R.I.P. Nickster
It's always so sad when someone die, i hate it =(!
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: gggg on November 10, 2007, 06:45:58 am
man, he had the best idea in the whole world.




i salute you
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Jay(TEK)86 on January 06, 2008, 05:30:54 am
A toast to a good man and a great game developer. We will miss you Nick thank you for bringing back our joy and the feel of how much fun everyone use to have playing Goldeneye a decade ago, and bringing it back to life with amazing graphics. RIP Nickster
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Jackred666 on February 22, 2008, 02:44:08 am
Maybe not the best idea of the world but it is the best idea to us gamers unless i wish i could met this guy and tell him how good he did on his part.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: gggg on March 19, 2008, 12:20:55 pm
hey dont worry these guys got the mod goin 4 u and there doin a good job. I SALUTE U NICK :'(
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Raindrops on April 02, 2008, 02:33:26 pm
Nickster, i didn't get the chance to know you, but i do get the chance to know the brilliant idea you had to create this mod millions of people was waiting for, i salute everyone in the team keep on doing the hard work, the result is really amazing and Nick will be proud of you guys, see you soon.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Crispy on October 01, 2008, 04:38:17 am
Didnt get a chance to know you, but thank you very much for the hard work and effort you put into for creating Goldeneye source.   :)
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Rodney 1.666 on October 04, 2008, 11:25:59 am
Hear hear!

The man had ideas. I wish I could have been around earlier.
The TC, however, will live on.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Kickflipkid687 on November 09, 2008, 11:24:52 am
Idk why, but his cell phone is on MSN right now and has been some days in the past....
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Jonathan [Spider] on November 09, 2008, 12:31:59 pm
his sister and his folks still sign on every now and again.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Wake[of]theBunT on November 09, 2008, 03:18:18 pm
Pretty cool of them, to keep the contact lines open to the people in the online world who knew and loved what he did and stood for, and considered him a true friend or leader.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: IMD007 on November 10, 2008, 07:25:30 pm
I may be new around these forums, but I must say it is never easy to lose friends, especially ones who have been working along side you.

Rest in peace, Nickster  :)
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: hyp3rstrike on January 31, 2009, 03:02:11 pm
I really don't know what to say. Rest in peace nick.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: JcFerggy on January 31, 2009, 03:07:09 pm
I really don't know what to say. Rest in piece nick.
wat?

I think you mean "Peace"
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: PPK on January 31, 2009, 10:56:39 pm
We should all pay our respects to Nicholas, specially now that BETA 3 is coming and remember that this wouldn't be possible without him. Rest in peace, man.

Consider this a correction to what hyp3rstrike said. He probably mistyped the word.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: hyp3rstrike on January 31, 2009, 11:11:31 pm
No, it was a misspelling. Thankyou to those who pointed it out, as had it gone unsaid I would have looked like a asshole. Really, its sad to see someone be tragically taken.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: PPK on January 31, 2009, 11:14:08 pm
No, it was a misspelling.

My bad.
About the joke, I was just kidding; I know no one would do such thing. In fact, I'll just edit my comment in order to remove it. My apologies.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: hyp3rstrike on January 31, 2009, 11:15:42 pm
No need to edit or apologize. Genuine mistake + Genuine Concern. I didn't see it till after someone pointed it out.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: ElEcTr0d00d on February 08, 2009, 01:52:03 pm
RIP Nick :angel:

does anybody know the reason why he commited suicide?!
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Jonathan [Spider] on February 08, 2009, 02:03:22 pm
he had severe depression
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: ElEcTr0d00d on February 08, 2009, 02:06:35 pm
he had severe depression

did anybody from the GE Devs know him in rl?
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Enzo.Matrix on February 08, 2009, 02:37:25 pm
Like most of the original Devs here..  Its been in our plans to meet up.  I almost met Spider, but couldn't get a hold of him.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: X-tra on February 08, 2009, 02:48:46 pm
Yesterday, I read something realy sad on moddb... Someone said "Souldn't this mod be dead with is emo creator?".

Realy realy sad... We should have respect for Nick. Look what we have now... An awesome game.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Mark [lodle] on February 08, 2009, 02:54:33 pm
Where was the comment? Ill remove it and report the poster.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Loafie, Hero of Dreams on February 08, 2009, 02:58:01 pm
spider and i boozed it at GDC in 2007
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: ElEcTr0d00d on February 08, 2009, 03:06:03 pm
ah ok :D did u guys make the mod just by writing in chatrooms and talking on telephone(or voice chat)?!

the mod is a really administrational masterpiece too!!! o.O
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: X-tra on February 08, 2009, 03:27:49 pm
Where was the comment? Ill remove it and report the poster.

It's an old new (march 2008), but the comment is still here : http://www.moddb.com/mods/goldeneye-source/news/ges-update-march-2008
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: MtM0201 on February 08, 2009, 03:46:27 pm
man sayin stuff like that moddb post just aint right.. >_> Nickster was a great guy to know.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Jonathan [Spider] on February 08, 2009, 04:26:07 pm
Like most of the original Devs here..  Its been in our plans to meet up.  I almost met Spider, but couldn't get a hold of him.
yea we missed each other like passing ships in the night haha.

spider and i boozed it at GDC in 2007

unfortunately we couldn't get completely plastered cause we had to walk out of there and back to the bart haha.
maybe when lodle comes to GDC this year we can all get sloshed haha.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: PPK on February 08, 2009, 10:07:41 pm
Yesterday, I read something realy sad on moddb... Someone said "Souldn't this mod be dead with is emo creator?".

Really really sad... We should have respect for Nick. Look what we have now... An awesome game.

Agreed. People should pay more attention to what they write, specially when it comes to such a delicate subjet as this one.

Where was the comment? Ill remove it and report the poster.

Go ahead and do it mate. That person should be punished, at least with a report on Moddb. This is serious business and now he should see the work you have made so far. It is not only a proper homage to Nicholas but also a way to make his jaw drop to the floor.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: ElEcTr0d00d on February 09, 2009, 01:36:20 am
Agreed. people should pay more attention to what they write, specially when it comes to such a delicate subjet as this one.

hmmm yea, that was a really bad "joke" from that one guy who posted that comment, but there weren't many emos back in 2006 when Nick took his life! It's just a bad, ignorant comment buy a 10 year old in my opinion :\
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: X-tra on February 09, 2009, 02:44:31 am
The comment has been removed and I'm happy whit that.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: trezza on February 09, 2009, 03:41:28 am
Gee, if you don't have something nice to say why say anything at all :-\

I noticed the little plaque for nick behind the sarcophagus in temple, It took me a minute to read because I had to keep making it slide to the side, surprisingly no-one came up behind me because there was about 10 people on the server. Anyway I thought it was really nice and It's on the most beautiful map on the game (in my opinion). R.I.P and thanks for GE: S
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Meliadoul2k on February 10, 2009, 08:20:23 am
Even though I didn't know him I feel bad 'cause my names Nick too. His legacy will live on in this mod I suppose.  :'(

That wasn't a very cool thing to write, that ignorant little bastard.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: ElEcTr0d00d on February 10, 2009, 10:05:39 am
Gee, if you don't have something nice to say why say anything at all :-\

I noticed the little plaque for nick behind the sarcophagus in temple, It took me a minute to read because I had to keep making it slide to the side, surprisingly no-one came up behind me because there was about 10 people on the server. Anyway I thought it was really nice and It's on the most beautiful map on the game (in my opinion). R.I.P and thanks for GE: S

in temple? there are like no objects in ge_temple:classic
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: PPK on February 10, 2009, 10:07:34 am
in temple? there are like no objects in ge_temple:classic

The map isn't Temple Classic. It's Egyptian. (corrected in accordance to the post below)
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: X-tra on February 10, 2009, 10:11:20 am
He mean in egyptian...
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: JcFerggy on February 10, 2009, 10:14:17 am
In Beta 1, the sarcophagus was like a trap door, that when used, lead to the main room below. This was removed since people would get hurt when falling. The sarcophagus still moves, but the plack for Nickster is there instead.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Enzo.Matrix on February 10, 2009, 10:24:17 am
The plack is in every map..

I was digging around to see if Beta3 made it onto Joystiq yet,  when I stumbled upon this
http://www.joystiq.com/2006/05/29/r-i-p-nickster-gone-but-not-forgotten/
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: trezza on February 11, 2009, 04:45:36 pm
Yes thank you I meant Egyptian, they're both temples so that's why i said temple.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: eXpEnC on March 14, 2009, 02:04:45 pm
I was wondering what that plaque was. It was kind of hard to read it when I first say it on the Egyptian level because the sarcophagus kept closing on me.

That's a shame, he really sounded like a great person.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Enzo.Matrix on March 15, 2009, 04:19:36 pm
Facility, the washroom entrance, much easier to read.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Ryan [Saiz] on March 17, 2009, 06:36:14 pm
It is also the quote on the first page of this topic.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: eXpEnC on March 18, 2009, 07:12:45 pm
oh I know, I read though most of this topic. I just picked up the mod about a week and half ago and saw the plaque and didn't know what it was all about which led me here...
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: UDIENOWPLZ on July 26, 2009, 05:09:50 pm
Goodbye Nickster, my hat goes off and by pint is raised...
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Zippy on August 03, 2009, 07:27:42 pm
My names Nick as well. Not to mention Nickster lived in the same place as me.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: MoonRakerCore on October 21, 2009, 04:45:09 pm
Nick i never knew you or anything but i wanna say thank you for eveything concerning this mod. When i found oout this was coming out , i couldnt contian myself i was so happy. mostly because i loved the n64 version. i think i speak for most of us who play this mod, when i say we share your passion. i hope your heart is finaly at peace. you will be missed.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: apedap on December 23, 2009, 10:31:21 am
All hail the guy who played Goldeneye on his n64 and thought: Well, what about this, played on a pc?

Why did he die anyway?
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Wake[of]theBunT on December 23, 2009, 10:49:51 am
Why did he die anyway?

Nobody can say for sure a reason, but we know he took his life after some hard years of clinical depression. I cant say that I would devote so much time here for so many years if it wasnt for his legacy and knowing what he may have gone through to keep living in struggle to achieve his passions and give a community spirit to others.

To know also that when we make the choice day after day to continue GE:S, it is honoring him the best way we can, is also a good feeling.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: JessEH on December 23, 2009, 12:33:40 pm
I'll resist giving my opinion on the why.

However, I have been wanting to ask this for awhile:

Does anyone else find it wildly inappropriate to have his suicide note on a plaque in the maps? That's what it is right? His suicide note?

I think a simple "In memory of" or "dedicated to" type of thing would be much better. But that's just me.

Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Mangley on December 23, 2009, 01:02:37 pm
That's just impersonal though isn't it? If it just said "in memory of" then it wouldn't tell us anything or give us any insight into what kind of person he was.

I like what the plaque says, it's very philosophical and moving. I don't see anything wrong with it.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: JcFerggy on December 23, 2009, 01:28:46 pm
I don't believe it's his susicide note, least I dont think it is.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Jonathon [SSL] on December 23, 2009, 01:38:11 pm
It's an excerpt from it, and I agree with Mangley's post on its use.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: CCsaint10 on December 23, 2009, 02:09:01 pm
same here. I don't see anything wrong with it. I look at it as just a philosophical passage about the end of life and the insight/curiosity he had about it. I think it is something that has crossed everyones mind at least once. I don't find it inappropriate.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: kraid on December 23, 2009, 10:41:36 pm
There also was a startup video with the line "In loving memory of Nicolas "Nickster" Bishop." in beta 1.
This was moved into the credits for Beta 3.

As for the plaque, it really looks like his suicide notes.
If you ask me, the matter of such notes are to let the ppl know how you feelt and maybe, just maybe understand why you did it.
He wouldn't have written such a note if it wasn't his intention to have ppl read it.

Allthough i didn't know Nickster, these words moved my heart and made me think about a lot of things, not only death and beyond.

The question of having this plaque in some maps is a matter of personal taste.
Some may find it wildly inappropriate while others feel it's just right.

Since the ppl who knew Nick and worked with him on this mod, thought it was the right decission to honor him that way, i have no doubt it is.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Jonathan [Spider] on December 28, 2009, 01:15:58 pm
I'll resist giving my opinion on the why.

However, I have been wanting to ask this for awhile:

Does anyone else find it wildly inappropriate to have his suicide note on a plaque in the maps? That's what it is right? His suicide note?

I think a simple "In memory of" or "dedicated to" type of thing would be much better. But that's just me.

I think the level designers who decided to put that in their maps sort of saw that as kind of a sum up of nicks personality.  the way he wrote that and what he said was kind of an ultimate goodbye, that many of us never have the opportunity to say. speaking for myself, i think the message is a good reminder of a great teammate and friend.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: V!NCENT on January 16, 2010, 08:03:21 am
Quote
So many people go about their daily lives unconcerned with the fact that they are nothing more than an ant upon a huge rock flying through a universe so large it can't even be imagined.
That was the very thinking that started a very long depression of mine that luckily ended :(

Goodbye Nicholas, even though I never knew you, but I wish I would have.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: codemaster94 on January 25, 2010, 09:43:18 am
I give Nickster some credit, he really had good brains to make this project! Even knowing it kinda looked funky at the beginning, it was still pretty neat! Cheers to Nickster.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: CameronB on March 03, 2010, 10:06:29 am
Wow.

I'm nobody here... I've no programming skills to offer, I've nothing brilliant to add to the game code, I don't understand how to make meshes, work with nodes, or paint textures.  I'm just some guy who registered to inquire about the single player possibility of this mod, and that answered, offer thanks and encouragement for the work put into bringing my all time favorite FPS into a new age.

Thus I never knew Nickster, but those words are so hauntingly familiar...  I've stood on a precipice of personally inflicted hell, questioning reality, my place in it, my value in it, wishing for death, wishing for a way out, but hoping that somehow, things would get better.

Tormented by our own demons, it becomes difficult to find our way through life, and when the pain of life's little tragedies shatter our spirits, clawing a path out of a dark personal abyss seems overwhelming, perhaps even futile.  Some people are lost in our world, and finding a way to shine a glimmer of hope into their dark eyes is a defiant struggle ready to sap us of all strength. 

Some are unable to arrive to any conclusion on this question of life or death, and choose to wait for more answers.  Others can confidently walk to the future, having gained the belief that destiny must hold more for them.  But tragically, we are not all superhuman in our spirit, and some falter, struggling with this conflict, ultimately deciding that the fight is too great a burden, the strain of pushing our questions off overwhelms us, and the only way out...  is to say farewell.

Some of us are Actors of the highest degree, masking our pain behind genuine warmth, a facade of happiness, but ultimately, this mask covers up a cold place within, a space which goes unfulfilled.  This burden within us returns to haunt our lonely nights, our lonely mornings, and our lonely days.  The mask must come off at some time, and when it falls free, we are confronted with ourselves, and the pain we hold.

The mirror reflects a face, our own face, and we see behind it to find that missing piece, whatever its cause, looking upon us - asking to please help.

And then what?  How?  The spitefull music of Korn, the electric rage of NiN, the sad depression of a thousand other artists, through it we might cry, scream, wail, and try to purge this feeling of betrayal from us... but you cannot purge emptiness.  It must be filled.

What is that answer?  I don't know.  I think it's different for everyone.  I was missing a piece of my soul, and I needed to find "her" to complete myself.  Without that stroke of luck, there still would be nothing within me.  Maybe I too, would have walked the same path, my footsteps preceding or following Nick's.  I know the nights were dark enough to make the path inviting.

Thanks for making this mod.  Thank you for posting his words.  Thank you for putting them in one of the levels.  I'd like to think that there was another like me out there, who, though he may not have been able to hold on as long, is honored for his time in our realm.

The memory of emptiness haunts me still...  Maybe it haunts us all.
-Peace.

PS
Don't fret.  I'm not going to walk that path.  I merely remember how it felt to be alone.  Thankfully those days are past.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: V!NCENT on March 03, 2010, 04:46:12 pm
@CameronB:
I believe that in order to stop it, one must first find something that makes them happy and then secondly, in order for it to take effect, one must think about what they think is important/signiffant and them work on it to value themselves and by extent allows one to feel happy about something.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: ericmcaine on March 30, 2010, 04:59:04 pm
I registered here just to say Rest in Peace.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: little 00 on March 31, 2010, 04:39:20 pm
Cheers to Nick for make fun memories re-live again for all.
I never knew Nick but i must say after playing the n64 game for a while i thought hope there is a way to remember GE N64 but i never thought it would be done to this extent.
A remake we don't forget.
Nick Rest in Peace
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Emilia on April 17, 2010, 03:38:19 am
Rest in peace hun.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: theCan on December 15, 2010, 06:58:45 am
I, like some others in this thread, did not know Nick in any way. But I do know and can empathize with such a dark internal pain. It is something that very few people deserve to feel. Unfortunately this is not the case. So I leave this note here to try to offer some sort of comfort, if only fleeting at that, to those who are, those who will, and those who have have struggled with such turmoil.

We are here, and we will listen, always.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: kidx on January 08, 2011, 11:29:24 pm
Goodbye Nickster.Thanks for making GES you shall be remembered for making the best mod to date for source engine.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: ChronoSKitz on February 22, 2012, 02:05:49 pm
It's been over 5 years now. We'll never forget you Nick, or this wonderful thing you gave us.

Edit: Sorry, I incorrectly added.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: major on February 22, 2012, 02:22:14 pm
Sadly six years here pretty soon.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: terps4life90 on February 22, 2012, 02:53:11 pm
I never knew you Nickster, but I wish i could shake your hand and tell you thank you for creating Goldeneye Source. You will never be forgotten.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: liamcadhain on February 23, 2012, 02:09:16 am
Gone but not forgotten, Rest in Peace Nickster
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Sam Colt on February 24, 2012, 06:00:40 am
I wish I could have met him, but the legacy lives on.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: kant.think.str8 on August 05, 2012, 06:01:10 am
I remember the great times we all were a part of together. I remember the hours we would spend on MSN just chatting it up. You were such a great guy to talk to and an excellent mind to bounce ideas off of, both about and outside of the mod. 6 years later and I still remember you bud. Almost like it was yesterday. You truly will never be forgotten. I think you would be very proud of what the team has developed. Thanks for the impact you made on our lives. Rest in Peace.
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: markpeterjameslegg on August 21, 2012, 03:24:39 am
Thought i'd put this up, at 2:15 Nickster comes into view, kills Ourumov then runs out again. Looks like good times, shame I didn't know anything about the mod back then, I would like to have known him.

http://youtu.be/UnKnd_HhA5c?t=2m10s
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: mbsurfer on August 21, 2012, 08:12:20 am
Thought i'd put this up, at 2:15 Nickster comes into view, kills Ourumov then runs out again. Looks like good times, shame I didn't know anything about the mod back then, I would like to have known him.

http://youtu.be/UnKnd_HhA5c?t=2m10s

I remember making that video haha. (I used to be in -[JS]- as HELL_razor, then later changed to mbsurfer, thankfully)
The first alpha release was a lot of fun, especially with the Backzone glitch where you would knife the metal table on top of the spawn point inside the lab area looking over the gas cylinders, and whenever someone would spawn in there they wouldn't spawn with weapons. All of -[JS]- would hold them inside the room, and block the door so they wouldn't get out. Then everyone else on the server would try to open the door and rescue them. There would be huge gun fights at that door, and yelling over the microphone to let the -[JS]- clan members back into the room after dying. "LET ME IN! LET ME IN!!"

Good memories <3

RIP Nickster
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: matzo3 on September 21, 2012, 11:41:37 am
Nickster, I know in my heart that you made it through the Carnival, and that the Wraith welcomed you to Shangri-La. We will all miss you, but we will keep going, because I know you would want us to.
You will never be forgotten, and I, along with many, many others, will make sure of that.

On behalf of my fellow Juggalo gamers, and Brony gamers, I give you my prayer, along with 2 Whoops and a Brohoof.

Rest In Peace, and try not to have TOO much fun in Shangri-La!

Yours Truly,
Matt (AKA Matzo3)
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: Moufisto on October 02, 2012, 09:38:07 pm
Salutations, Nickster..
This mod is legendary among mods I've witnessed, and beats the shit out of all those crappy remakes i've seen
companies try officially on Goldeneye.

Not even jokeing.

Rest in peace. = (
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: MultiplayerX on July 29, 2014, 05:32:14 am
I am brand new to ge source and I know this thread is very old but I would like to send out MUCH respect to the family of Nickster.
This touched my heart with tears. We WILL NOT forget you or allow this great mod to die. THANK YOU for all of your dedication to all of us.  ~MultiplayerX  hacker/modder : shootersforever.com and goldeneyevault.com
Title: Re: Goodbye Nickster
Post by: StupidMarioBros1Fan[1138] on July 29, 2014, 11:30:22 am
While I have been playing Source for two years, it's still very sad to know Nick died at a young age and while this mod was in it's early stages. Like always when it comes to mods and hacks, I'm late, but thanks Nick for starting this mod, and hope you're resting in peace.