GoldenEye: Source Forums
Debriefing => Off-Topic Lounge => Topic started by: Mark [lodle] on September 20, 2007, 05:13:42 am
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Just brought me an iPhone from the states. Cant wait for it to arrive in a week or so. :P
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No, I'm not going to get an iPhone, quit emailing me about it. I'm not getting one because I already have a phone that's better: it's called the Nokia E70, it's the pinnacle of human achievement, and I love it more than my family.
You've probably never heard of the E70 because Nokia's marketing team is busy finding every last dick in the universe to suck, so I'm going to do their job for them and tell you about this product. And no, I'm not being paid to do this. I'm just tired of the iPhone fanboys shooting huge sticky wads and high-fiving each other (literally) over their stupid cellphones.
First of all, the E70 has a full keyboard, not some shitty stripped down, tap-and-pray smudgy piece of shit. Nokia uses a technology that's even more advanced than the iPhone's tap screen, allowing you to actually feel the keys you press as you're pressing them! The technology is called "tactile response," and it allows you to do things like dial a phone number without staring at your screen like a shit-chucking ape. In fact, every other cellphone ever made has this technology, sometimes called "buttons."
This keyboard will not only stomp your colon, but the colons of distant relatives of the human species such as lagomorphs, and hypothetical colons of children you haven't even had yet. Want to type a backslash? No problem. Ampersand? You bet your ass. On an iPhone, you have to press an additional button that opens up an alternate keypad that will allow you to type numbers and punctuation. So typing something as simple as elipses (...) requires you to tap your finger 9 times. Enjoy your phone, losers! People like me who have shit to do will stick to a keyboard that doesn't have its lips wrapped firmly to the user-interface equivalent of a throbbing dong:
When the iPhone was first announced, CEO Steve Jobs spewed enough BS to cover a football field full of babies 3 feet deep in bullshit, which sounds cool because he could have potentially murdered a football field full of babies, but he passed on this opportunity by introducing the phone instead. He claimed that the phone was three devices in one: an iPod, a phone, and an "Internet communications device." Oooh, an Internet communications device?! AWESOME!
It's not three devices in one any more than my laptop is you morons. Using Jobs' loose definition of what constitutes a separate device, technically my laptop can be considered 8 devices in one:
# A clock
# A calculator
# An "Internet communications device"
# A phone (I can make voice calls with my modem)
# A pornographic media storage device
# A video player
# A word processor
# And an "iPod" (see below)
There's no such thing as an iPod. The word "iPod" is a marketing tool for a hard drive with software that plays mp3s. Yeah, doesn't sound so sexy now, does it you chimps? And an "internet communications device" is officially the douchebaggiest way of saying "it has a browser." So actually it's just a phone that plays mp3s and has a browser. SNORE.
The Nokia E70 not only plays mp3s, video, has a full browser and Wi-Fi, IMAP and POP3 email, and Google Maps, but you can even run terminal software to telnet or SSH into remote servers. What that means in non-geek is that my phone is invincible. I can literally do anything. I can reboot my web server if I want, and sometimes I do just because I can.
All of this power from a phone that's over a year old, and it only costs $360. Even the browser kicks ass.
Quoted from Maddox's article on the iPhone, skipping the pictures and the table.
'Nuff said. :P
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-10 rep
'Nuff said. :P
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This image says it all fan boy:
(http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/holy_shit_iphone2.gif)
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-10 rep
'Nuff said. :P
Pfttt, I would give him +10 just for quoting maddox if I could figure out how to do it :P.
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I use my cell phone for sending, and receiving calls. It cost me $15 dollars. ::)
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Word. I've still got my 2 yr old piece of shit nokia that I got for free with my contract.
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I like taking pictures and sending them to peoples phones and e-mails, right after taking the pictures.
but fuck the iPhone.
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Do eye phones work out of the US? I keep hearing fun stories of people getting multi-thousand dollar bills just for taking them, in "off" but not OFF mode, on cruises because of the expense of international data connections.
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Yeah, they do.
But you have to have the right carrier.
AT&T sucks ass, and it won't work with them. But if you unlock the phone (super easy), and get a carrier that doesn't suck, it'll be fine.
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This image says it all fan boy:
Maddox will eat your heart out for hotlinking.
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that image is actually fairly professional, for maddox...
Also, I own The Alphabet of Manliness.
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Just got it. Took a hour to unlock and works perfectly. Except it doesnt like my three (orange) sim. :( So worth it in the end :D
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wtf are phones
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does it have a led flashlight?
if not, mine > yours
If you count each pixel in the screen then yes :D
Phones are what you yanks call cells (retarded yanks i know)
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Hope you didn't update to the latest firmware, Apple just bricked all the unlocked iphones. I think the unlock teams are working on the unbrick stuff now.
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Hope you didn't update to the latest firmware, Apple just bricked all the unlocked iphones. I think the unlock teams are working on the unbrick stuff now.
Mine came with the new version had to downgrade it to crack it