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[Peroxwhy?gen]

Well for the last couple of days I've been seeing my girlfriend. I've stayed at her house to keep her company and help her with her problems of depression and i didn't want her hurting herself. I've been staying at her house without her uncle knowing, staying in the basement and hiding in the closet. Yesterday her uncle came downstairs and talked to her about getting a job also getting out of the house, she told him that she has been trying and trying and getting out of the house "mostly hanging out with me and doing activities with me to help her keep her mind off of things". He came out screaming and yelling pushing her and saying "you keep ruining my life and you don't do anything to help me" and once he left i came out to hug her and hold her. She said she wanted to go somewhere safe with me and didn't like being with him, so today we went to my house and she was going to stay with me "i know this was a bad idea and i know i might be criticized for this" but her uncle of course found out. this might be the last time i see her, she told me i could go take the bus in the morning "like i always do" and see if she is still there.

This is the part i don't know about. i am truly depressed about this whole situation and wanted the best for her, even though that might have not been the best but the safest thing in my opinion. i do truly love this person more then anyone i have ever met. I've been in alot of relationships and i will admit to myself being an idiot and using alot of people and i hate myself for it. but if i have found one person i could say i truly love and say I'd do anything for. i'm still going to be with her. but what should i do.

[basstronix]

You're only 21. The likelihood of us knowing what love even is at this age is nil. Our perspective of life, love, relationships, etc is skewed by social expectations brought about by popular trends. In other words, really take a step back and look at the situation from a detached position.

That said, don't let her uncle run both your lives. He's treating you like children. To make it worse, you're acting like children. I had to look at your profile to make sure you weren't 16, because I had to do that crap when I was in high school. You're old enough to take charge of your own life, so do it. Get a job, get a place, and offer her asylum. Screw the uncle. This is of course based on the assumption that you live with your parents.

[Wake[of]theBunT]

I think it's fine if you do what bass suggests and get your own place and offer her to live there. You both work to pay for it. However, don't go acting like its forever-love because you are then together and "saving" her. It may just be you can help her at this point (and yourself) of her life, thats a noble thing if her life is being run the way you describe - it will help her grow to be away and develop properly.

But like I said. Some girls don't know what they want and it may be that with the burdens of family off her back she realizes more potential and sees you as more of a "saviour" and less of a love interest.

I did the saviour thing in my youth, and mostly it only got months of sex before you've saved them from depression and they want someone more manly. You feel good that you helped them, but you are left heartbroken because they don't love YOU specifically, but the things you did to keep them from being lonely and further depressed. Word of warning there. Know that she loves you for you, before even thinking of going that route.

[basstronix]

^ this

I have a hard time expressing how I feel about situations like these because I normally don't have to think about it. I jump ship and move on! I'm glad Wake was able to put together some thoughtful advice.

[Mangley]

Perhaps it's worth trying to talk to the uncle yourself? See if he can be reasoned with. A delicate situation like this is only made worse by what would be viewed as defiance.

In any case, assuming she's your age, you're both old enough to make decisions for yourselves, you can work something out. Even if it means her staying with you and your family (if you live with them) there's nothing wrong with that if you clear it with them first. Obviously that's not an ideal situation.

[Peroxwhy?gen]

I Have talked to her. and her uncle. i live in my own house, i work and going to collage for music production. since she lives with her uncle "she's only 19" he feels that she need's to stay with him. Even though he tells her to move out and stop ruining his life. i really don't know this guy's thinking. but at the end of August she will be moving in with me.

[Rodney 1.666]

he feels that she need's to stay with him. Even though he tells her to move out and stop ruining his life. i really don't know this guy's thinking.

Sounds like he's mentally unstable and needs to be aborted asap, which I'm glad is happening.