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[Jeron [SharpSh00tah]]

My life has hit rock bottom. My father has been laid off. My brother and his Fiancee have a kid comming with no money. I also have been laid off, I have no money because I pay for my car, power, insurance, and mortgage just for a start. For god sake, I had to buy groceries for my father as he cryed on my sholder.

I think after my mother passed away my brain has not functioned the way it has before. I got laid off tonight and my father is "discusted/dissapointed" and knocked me out literally.

The three girls I was speaking with want nothing to do with me now that I have no money. Shows how real they are.

I have no job, no money, no life partner, no family.

The thought of suicide has never entered my mind until today. I am scared for my own saftey and dont know who else to turn to. I find it extremely sad (as I am crying writing this) that the only people I can turn to is this Team and community. I have nobody.

I live in south Florida in Palm Beach County, specifically Boca Raton. Everyone is rich here and drives their Bently's and Lamborghinis'. Yet, I have nothing, except a roof over my head. My car is gone, my computer is gone, my phone has been shut off, and I am stealing internet.

I cant even get started about my mother passing away as my cuzzing did too; equalevant to my brother. I cant believe suicide has even entered my brain as I thought I had it undercontrol.

With a black eye, busted lip and a torn heart, I am lost, depressed, and cant believe I am about to end it.

~Jeron

[Mark [lodle]]

Hey Sharp,

We have all been there mate and you have to believe that it will get better. I know times are tough for allot of people but you and i can get through this. If you need some one to talk about your issues im always around the corner on skype (well half way round the world in real life) and im sure if you need some money i for one will be willing to help out.

Mark

[Wake[of]theBunT]

Sharp, me too. I have always given you any money I could spare for you to get things you need desperately and this is no exception. We will always be here for each other.

Please don't sink further to these thoughts because you have to think of the people too, all around you, who have lost their family member (your mother) and would have to deal with yet another loss. It feels like they wouldnt care because everyone is doing it tough and your emotions tell you "i need a way out", but thats not true about your family! They like us, if understand how low it is you feel, would want to show the love and give you all the reasons they could how you can get through it.

You have to live for the hope that it will turn around. Your brother will need a hand with that kid, man. He'll need a babysitter over the next few years when he gets a job and she does part-time work during to give that kid everything it needs. They might not spare for someone to do it, they will need their family support, and you are part of that.

Many reasons to live for hope. And I'm sure along with mark, we are not the only ones who can throw you a bone or two if you need it badly anytime this week or for a bill coming up, don't be afraid ask. I will also be on steam where you can always reach me, even if im not there when you write ill read it and email you within a few hours I promise!

[kraid]

As Mark and Wake allready said, you can count on us.
Try to focus on the things worth living for, like family or friends.
Just hang in there, if you don't do it for yourself, do it at least for them and for us.

[Goldenzen]

and important to say is that you only can appreciate the good times when you had bad times as well.
In future when you`ll have things in order and you`re happy with it you will appreciate it even more because you`ve also seen the bad sides of life.
Worst thing you could do now is end things because then you`ll never see the good sides of life...

[jjmusicnotes]

Although it might not seem like it right now, there are many people in your life that love you, and things will get better.  Certainly there are many people here ready and willing to do whatever they can to help you the best that they can, whether it be listening, or sharing their own hard times.

I think that it's important for you to know that you are not alone in this, even though the weight of the world may feel like it's all coming down on you.

I don't know if you're a religious guy at all, but even if you're not, and you're willing to give it a try, try talking to God - He always listens man.

There have been some really hard times in my life (thought of suicide pretty frequently for a while,) and God helped me get through it.



Things do get better, and you have people in your life that love you and support you and care for you.

[Mangley]

Life can get really heavy sometimes, it sucks, but there are always high points ahead. Things can only get better, you have to always remember that. Sometimes tthings seem like they can't get worse and then they do and it breaks you mentally.

Some people just need a break from the stress, to find the simple pleasures in life again. Take a day away from the madness, find a nice peaceful quiet place in the sun where you can just relax on some grass by yourself and contemplate, feel the breeze on your face.

You may feel you have nothing to lose, but that is never true, no matter how much you manage to fool yourself. You have only truly lost everything when you are dead. So long as you're alive, you're in a world full of opportunity and potential.

[Luchador]

Hey Jeron, we are ALL here for you. I know what's it like to hit those bottoms, but I promise you things will get better. You're young and have so many opportunities, it would be just terrible if you did something crazy and let it all go. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here for you and I know there are many others who want to do everything they can to help, too. You did a great thing by turning to us instead of keeping it in. We can turn this around.

[coolDisguise]

Hello Jeron,

I'm glad you didn't rush that decision but wrote in here.
And I'm really sorry for your situation and I wish for it to get better.

These things are never easy and like jjmusicnotes I sadly don't know much about you.
But if you're religious, basically almost every religion tells you not to commit suicide.
And if you're into science try thinking of it this way:

If for every moment in life there is a possibility that it get's better or worse - wouldn't math proof, that  it would have to become better at some point (since the probability of chained worse-only-events would be near to 0)?

Also there's two possibilties.
1. the end of life is the end of everything
2. there is something after death

If the end of life is the end of it all, would you want to waste every chance to experience something good?

If there is something after, how might the chances be that it would be better? I for one doubt the chances are good.
E.g. if you'd only think you'd be reborn, think of how much worse your situation could be then.
Perhaps your current situation + not being able to to walk or such?

And as you recognized, we, the people in here (the forums), care for you.
Although it's you decision after all, think of it carefully before taking action.
You know, we would want you to live and of course, want you to be happy again, someday.
Just as you would want for someone to live,
if you could see he'll probably get back to a point in his life where he wouldn't think of suicide at all.

[Jeron [SharpSh00tah]]

I appriciate the words, but I am still in the same situation. I just dont understand how someone can live their life and do the right thing for everyone, not just myself. I have so many bills comming up its un believable. Car/rent/electric/CC etc etc. I really have nothing to say because so much is going on, my mind is literally blank and numb.

My source of enjoyment is mapping for this game. Yet, I cant even do that because I dont have a computer that can handle the programs anymore.

When it rains it pours. I have alot of other issues going on that I cant/dont even want to speak about. The weight on my sholders have literally made my legs collaps. I literally collapsed trying to stand up and face life. I have never experianced my knees buckling. (other than when I tore my ACL)

I dont understand how this "god" can throw so much shit my way. And all these people that deal drugs, or these rap stars who have done nothing but trouble make millions.

Its scary.

[Rodney 1.666]

And all these people that deal drugs, or these rap stars who have done nothing but trouble make millions.

Its scary.

I concur, and the best way to say "fuck you" to those cretins (in the sense of personal satisfaction) would be to hang in there and pick yourself up again.
There's always a point to start from.

[Enzo.Matrix]

Your at the ocean..  we have a contact that is in the Coast Guard..  open your mind to new things.  Maybe this is happening to align you with your true purpose.

Also Army is not an option.

[Jeron [SharpSh00tah]]

Again, all true words, I got a general recruters phone number, hopefully for coast guard. KM I need to speak with you.

Also, I wanted this topic to be aimed towards I can understand why people commit suicide. Not so much as I will commit suicide... It is just such an eerie feeling.

[CCsaint10]

Sharp, I would be glad to help you out with money if need be. Do not be afraid to ask. You were the first developer that really took the time to sit down with me and teach me how to map and help my problems. Seeing you down like this an even consider suicide just stabs me inside. You are such a great guy and I have learned so much from you. You are a true friend. Don't follow through with it. You're the greatest man.

[Wake[of]theBunT]

I understand, Jeron. However we must react as though an admission of thoughts like this means you may in the future. And with the unpredictability of your internet access, its important for right now you that you are seeing this thread - you see how much support we can and are eager to give you. And what value we think you are to us and your private life. <3