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[VC]

I've finally found some time to do two really awesome things.  1) Work on programming-related stuff, GES and Beyond, and 2) Watch TV while I code stuff.

While its tendency to consume volume is discouraging, I still have lots of VHS around, and I found a big box of Bond, so I'm going to go through it all and when I see things and get ideas that I think might be useful in Goldeneye Source, I'll jot them down here.  This is a weblog after all, so I can blabber about meaningless things freely, and it's very possible that even if I have a stupid observation, someone else might expand upon it.  After all, Live and Let Die exists only because one night Xanatos said we ought to do something related to the Egyptian/Baron Samedi mission and I said "OHH, I KNOW!"

I wonder which Bond film I should start with...

[ThePlumb3r]

How about Goldeneye?
Definately since this game is based off the game that is based on that film, which is inspired from the Jamaican estate.

[VC]

Goldeneye

Wow, a two-blade razor!?  Holy shit, Gillette Sensor Excel must truly be a whole new world of shaving!  I can understand their advertising lame movies like Twister on the tape, but a razor?  Is shaving a Bond Move?  Now pay close attention, James, this razor contains a secret storage container inside the handle. Normally filled with a small amount of shaving creame, it can be emptied and used to store microfiche. Buh-duh-bahdaah!

This blood effect is what we should use.  There is some dev fuddling about doing some silly shiny glossy crap; nah, we should do it just like this intro.

Comparing the film to the new (Beta 4) Facility Backzone is really hot.  Mapping is doing a kick-ass job.

As much as the old Ouromov is awesome because he's been with us since the start, I know we can do so much better now.  However, we still have a zillion important characters to get started on.

Freewheelin' Franklin should add some of the tanks and equipment Bond uses for cover to the neo Runway; it suffers from a lot of no-cover problems.  There's a couple snow mountains but it needs some more variety.

We need Music to come up with something based on the Bond/Xenia carchase scene.  I like the cheesy-jazzy DM music, I bet Audix could do something extraordinary with this as a foundation.

Oh noz, spike jamd mah modem! I can't hang up what wil oh yeah, *unplugs phone wire*

Xenia achievement:
Wargasm
Kill three players with one session of uninterrupted KF7 fire.
Yes kids, I just suggested something that requires spamming. Hot damn.

Шяууп Да Wнууп!

Can't wait for Jack Wade to get in the game.  Paired with Valentin, we can create a fat man army to eat their way across the battlefield.

When we get the animations going, we need to give Vally his limp in the run cycle.  That will make him visually distinct from Oddjob and help diminish whining about inability to differentiate the big boneds.

These Petersburg citizens seem to be really good at leaping across the bonnet of approaching vehicles without actually touching the vehicle. It's almost as if they dodge out-of-control Fiats and tanks every day.

Suddenly, two double-0 agents can't hit shit.  Granted the KF7 is pretty poor and they were spamming like noobs, but still, double-0 dammit.

James Bond will return in...

[JcFerggy]

I read the whole thing, and I like what I see, but I was thinking of KFC once I got to the achievement part. Fuck I'm hungry.

[VC]

The Living Daylights

It should be noted that I'm playing these in the order that the tapes are stacked; I didn't give Goldeneye any advantage, and I'm not watching The Living Daylights now because I am soon to code its script once I get Python under my belt.

ge_paintball 1

"You're out of it."  You mean parachuting in while wearing black in a completely white and tan surrounding does not grant actual ninja stealth? I'm blown away.

This guy's damn good at driving down car-width roads while not holding the wheel in a completely blinded vehicle.  I can't skip a song on my MP3 player without drifting against a while line.

"I need to use your phone."  Timothy Dalton acquired the token.

Ah yes, the most cumbersome sniper rifle ever designed.  It looks like the gun with the built-in microwave from Beverly Hills Cop 3.

Damn you TF2, all I can think about is how if Helga there hit Bond over the head with that wrench, it'd be a guaranteed crit.

Nerdhawt Moneypenny for the win.  Need modeled nao.  Timothy Dalton has earned achievement Basstronix.

John Rhys Davies as Pushkin, another quality fat man we need to get into the game.  We can replace the flag with a bucket of chicken, ammo will become tacos, and instead of body armor, a platter of ribs.  Kamran Shah would be a good addition, too.  We haven't any middle-eastern characters on the roster.

James Bond will return in...

[Sergeant Kelly]

If we get a new Ourumov, I sure hope the old one remains usable. If only to a select few or something.

And btw, Bond only plays on the no-crit servers.

[VC]

You Only Live Twice

HE IS SERIOUS. I'm playing these in the order that the tapes are stacked; fortunately, Live and Let Die will almost certainly not be next, because I know that I have it on tape, but I cannot find it.  I remember wanting to pack it specially when I moved since that was when L&LD was officially gonna-happen, and yet it's the only thing I can't find since relocating.

OM NOM NOM NOM in Spaaaaaaaaaaaace!

Cool, the UN is meeting in the top of the Epcot golf ball.

Sailors are weird. They say they are putting his body into the ocean, to be turned into corruption, until the day of the ressurection.  So they're trying to create an abominable zombie Bond of the future. (!)

Nothing puts me in the mood for "hotel time" than watching fat guys collide.  Fat guys seem to play a pivotal role in Bond films.

<!> Sean Connery has alterted the horde!

Tiger Tanaka, another MI6-side character option.  Someday they'll catch up in character count.

I love how the Japanese is real, but not what the subtitles indicate.  On that note, hearing "sake" deliberately mispronounced...

Tanaka's resort home has a good mix of buildings and terrain, it has promise as a map, I think.

There is a TF2 payload map, pl_cranetop, that was definately inspired by this film; its final section looks just like the SPECTRE launch base here.

What's the Japanese term for "Number Eleven?"  Piranha no de OMU NOMU NOMU NOMU.

This rocket cigarette is accurate up to 30 yards, as long as you remember to sight your filter. Spam the cigarette, and you will be lucky to give the backstop cancer.

oh noez, ceiling ninja is watching you fornicate!  So, Tigger's got his personal horde of junior samurai, and he doesn't have a competent guard detail arranged to keep enemy agents out.  All-look-same isn't an excuse when you are asian.

They said that Bond was going to "become" Japanese, but they kinda got stuck at Vulcan, apparently.  Fortunately, the "island girl with the face of a pig" is better looking and speaks finer English than Aki did; good thing she got ninja'd.

It's a pity we didn't see more of the Osato building. The archetecture was kinda cool but all we saw was one big room and a hallway, not enough to really make a quality map from.

James Bond will return in...

[VC]

Dr. No

Holy shit! Dots are going damn insane!  The prototypical intro-credits is weird, you can see how it turned into what it would become, and yet it seems to have no promise.  Just more 60's lolwut surviving to the modern day.  And in 50 years, be amazed at how lolwut our productions will seem.

James threw a hat. Quick, everyone demand that Bond get a throwable hat like Oddjob!

Quarrel could be a good MI6 character.  Bright red shirt, toro toro!  Snazzy hat, too.

Hey, Bond wears tighty whities.  I guess you have to keep the royal jewels under tight security.  That also might explain why he doesn't produce two offspring per film.

Canfield solitaire.  Buh-duh-badaaah!  I figured Bond would be more of the reading type.

No's nukeyouler operations centre might make a good map; it would probably shake out something similar to neo Control.

James Bond will return in...

[VC]

The World is not Enough

Madonna fail. Forwarding with the fastness.

It's a good thing they had Random Guy explain what the hell happened.  Rube Goldberg would be impressed by that exploding money trick.

"007, I would like to introduce you to this defective clown named ARRRRRGH. He was abandoned by the circus and I felt bad and let him follow me home.  Fortunately he is at least housebroken but you should keep a rolled-up newspaper handy."  The one good thing about the "reboot," no more John Cleese.

Renard might be worthwhile as a villain, though this movie is pretty damn lame.

Maybe Valentin's caviar/docks area could be a decent map.  It would at least be something different.

Yawn. The only thing that could be worse than this would be if they tried to throw some overrated soup-of-the-day actress in as a Bond girl, like that Berry girl who showed her tits to get a five-film contract before sinking into obscurity.

James Bond will return in...

[The Cy]

funny blog, mr. vc.   and hell yes ! I totally agree with you, we definetely need more fat russian characters.......like Xenia or Q 

[VC]

Octopussy

This is actually the first time that I've ever watched the intro scene.  I'd always drift in somewhere around the Russian War Room scene for some reason.

I wonder who siphoned the fuel out of the horse.

lol, Bond almost killed an innocent bystander with a gigantic ninja star.  That's comedy relief from the comedy relief of the terrible puns we just suffered.  Srsly, some of these weapons look contrived from a Klingon standpoint.

Tarzan.  Oh hells no.

Octopussy playable?  Sure... not many other interesting characters in this film other than Vijay, and technically he's a cameo since his dayjob was tennis.

MINE OW TOE! I STUBBED MINE OW TOE!

That security guard has pretty bad aim.  I warned him about spamming his guns.

The supermodel octo-playmates have about the same acting skills as Robert Palmer's backup guitarists.

See? Q is an action hero, and he gets more girls faster than Bond does while he's older than their ages summed!  Need model.

What do you know, Turk-ies can fly after all.

"Owing to the serious nature of his injuries, Bond is not fit enough for travel."  Shut up and give him a body armor, that'll have him stronger than when the film started.

Disappointing in that there really aren't any cool locations to work with.  The only area with promise is the Bazaar, since it would give opportunities for lots of cover and hiding places and a feel something like Basement, Complex, and Temple combined.  However, I don't think our glacial modelling department could finish it before Half Life 6, and even then, Source performance drops off a cliff when you use many models.

James Bond will return in...

[CCsaint10]

HOLY SHIT VC! Wow, I will have to space out reading all this. .....

[VC]

Goldfinger wuh-wah-waaaaaaah

Finally, some real Bond.  I just can't get behind Moore as Bond.  It's not the age thing, he just seems stiff and out of place.  The clown suit in Octopussy fit too well.  Return to Connery, return to explosions and tits.  And fat guys.  The fat man theory keeps gaining momentum and chins as the quality of a Bond film seems to be 40% determined by the BMI of key players.

"What's with that trick pool table!" "I don't like bein' cooped up like this.  What's that map doin' there?"  Did they just tell the mooks to improvise in this scene?

Dumbest guard ever, ever.

"...and go back to nature." That means Pussy's going to stop shaving.

Obviously, Fort Knox needs to be a map.  JS put together a tolerable map in Alpha, but I'm confident something much more grand can happen.

Auric has a golden revolver, kinda snazzy.

Where did the blade go? We saw the blade in the hat at the links, but at Knox there is no blade.  00fail.

Hey James, it's not a woman. You can't molest the bomb to subdue it; stop pawing randomly at the little wheels.

James Bond will return in...

[VC]

Thunderball!

The tape opens with a preview for Goldeneye.  Sucks so badly that Goldeneye was so good and all the other Brosnan-era films drove the franchise into the ground.  Hell, drove it into Daniel Craig, secret agent Double-E Mo.

This is the last tape in my pile, which means that in subtraction to Live and Let Die, I've lost track of the Lazenby film which I know I have (had) somewhere.  Diamonds Are Forever I think it was.

It's also one I never could get into.  Something about this film just repels my attention.  Part of that is probably because Adolfo Celi, Largo in this film, was the villain in Danger: Diabolik, which was a more-entertaining film.  Not that it was a good film, but rather because it was bad in the good way that got it a spot on Mystery Science Theater 3000.  Hence, I keep seeing him and realizing that usually when I see him I'm experiencing something funny and entertaining, but Thunderball surrounds him with boring and failure.

So, let's try to have a bit of fun with this and move on.

[killermonkey]

Diamonds are forever is one of my top bond movies. You can catch on TBS/USA/TNT's next bondathon