The map looks pretty plain (especially images 1 and 5), adding some basic static props like vents and pipes really makes a huge visual difference. Image 2 has insane HDR on the lights over the garages, and you could disable shadows on the ceiling supports so that they don't block all the light and cast unnatural shadows. The shadows from the boxes in Image 2 could be improved if you lowered the lightmap on the floor below them, making the shadows much clearer (the warehouse in cs_assault has a similar situation). You could also add a 3D skybox to the map, so that it feels like you're within a warehouse in some sort of industrial park. I think your shadow_control entity is at the wrong angle, since in image 3 you can see that the shadow from the ammo crate is going up onto the wall next to it, instead of down on the ground.
I think that the idea of making maps based upon other people's work could get us in trouble, did you get permission to copy the layout for this map from its creator?
Do you have any other work to show besides this?
