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[basstronix]

So here's the deal.  As some of you may know, I've got a big action flick planned for next year.  And by big, I mean mid-air car chases, bullet dodging, and light saber battles.  The main character is somewhat of an idiot, but with a remarkable amount of luck.  Throughout the movie, he will be knocking off baddies in very absurd ways, and I need him to say absurd things. 

I want you guys to try and come up with some sweet one-liners for the character to say (you can even give me a scenario for him to say it), and I'll put them in the film.  After the film screens at festivals, I'll put it online for free for you guys to watch! (in 1080p goodness too!)

Maybe think along the lines of the Evil Dead series and Shoot 'Em Up.  Classic lines in those films.

[Loafie, Hero of Dreams]

"No, fuck you."

[major]

"Now watch this."

"What duck? "

[Sean [Baron]]

"Want to know what it feels like to die?"

"Your fired"

"No"


Watch all Arnold movies... King of one liners

[Rodney 1.666]

"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. Shit. I'm all out of gum."

(Originally "It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm allll out of gum.")

[basstronix]

So far my picks are:

"Want to know what it feels like to die?"

"What duck?"

"No, fuck you."


Keep em comin! This is fun 

[major]

''God will have mercy on your soul, I wont''

"I fucked guys like you in prison"

"You want to talk to God? Let's go see him together. I've got nothing better to do."


and maybe the liner said before Lofies "No, fuck you.",

"Yeah, fuck you too!"

[basstronix]

I don't wanna rip off movies directly; deliberate butchering of classic one liners is great though.  The thing about mercy is from grindhouse, and i think the fucking guys in prison one is from lethal weapon.

[major]

''God will have mercy on your soul, I wont''

That is originally from Rambo, where its ''God will have mercy on your soul, Rambo wont'' ( or at least that's where I got it from)

But I see what your talking about, this could be pretty fun little thread...hmm gonna have to think about some good ones.

[1Rusky]

Someone gets knocked out into an ice cream freezer, and character says "Cool down"

"My gun's got a cold and you're holding a tissue."

"Tell me the shoot or I'll truth."-We've all done this before

I don't know if these fit your movie. Any good?

[mbsurfer]

Just keep pretending you're gonna shoot by saying "BANG" randomly, making the guy flinch.
Then say, "Okay I'll stop now."
*.....Awkward silence..............*
"BANG!"
The guy jumps.
"That was the last time I swear. "
The shooter begins to chuckle, and the man hesitantly chuckles along, then quickly shoot the gun.. but it's out of bullets. The man tries to make a run for it, but trips on a banana peel or something then hits his head on a conveniently placed rock.  His head rolls over face first into a puddle, and he drowns.

I also found this poem on the internet. Thought you may find some things..

A for attacked in a dank little mire
B is for burned in a terrible fire
C is for crisped in an Easy Bake oven
D is for doomed in a big witch's coven
E is for eaten by a monster of dread
F is for filled up with one ton of lead
G is for gnawed on by a vicious brown dog
H is for hurt choking on a frog
I is for injured in the dawn's early light
J is for jumped in the middle of the night
K is for kicked in the shins by some guy
L is for leaping over a man-eating fly
M is for mauled by a huge grizzly bear
N is for nailed to an electric chair
O is for offed by twelve football teams
P is for pulled apart at the seams
Q is for quacked to death by a duck
R is for rammed in the head by a puck
S is for stuffed in a teddy-bear shop
T is for thunk-ed in the head with a mop
U for uplifted and dropped to their death
V is for vacuuming while getting high on meth
W is for whacked tween the eyes with a mace
X is for x-rayed to death while in space
Y is for yodeling and choking on mice
Z is for zipping through a hole in the ice

[Mike [fourtecks]]

Ha, didn't see this thread until now. I'm trying to think of stuff, and I am definitely coming up with some of the corny stuff you can find in bond films...

Smack a person over the head with a lifebouy/lifering, ram it downward so it restricts their arm movement, pull out a gun, shoot them in the chest, then have the guy fall into a pool, then say "Take a dip."

Person 1 kills person 2 with a baseball bat.
Person 1 meets up with person 3.
Person 3 : "Where's person 2?"
Person 1 : "He struck out."

Oh god, I don't want to even try anymore :p ...

[Loafie, Hero of Dreams]

As an option to tecks second one

Person 1 attacks person 2 with a baseball bat, hitting them 3 times, the third hit kills/incapacitates Person 2
Person 1: "3 strikes and you're out!"

[Jeron [SharpSh00tah]]

*tecks edit* NO. NO. I refuse to see this pic

*loaf edit*

*tecks edit* GOD DAMNIT. I will BAN YOU LOAF

"Hit it!"

[killermonkey]

"Which wallet is yours?"

"The one that says Bad Ass Mother Fucker on it"